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Old 20-05-07, 08:21 AM   #1
multi
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Default Cthulhu for president in 2008!



Antiwar Radio: Scott Horton Interviews Michael Scheuer

Another GOP lawmaker arrested for child rape, molesting of pages

Bush To Be Dictator In A Catastrophic Emergency

Statistics on the distribution of US foreign aid. Israel vs The World
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Old 23-05-07, 06:50 PM   #2
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Do you expect me to try to muddle thru the addys U posted?

I tried to get the gist of the Israel link, but as usual, I really can't be bothered with propaganda.

Why don't U express your ideas with your own words? We might then, pay a bit more attention

As much as I hate to take the hits because I think for myself, I do.
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Old 23-05-07, 08:39 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicobie View Post
I tried to get the gist of the Israel link, but as usual, I really can't be bothered with propaganda.
Use Netscape, the link works for me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicobie View Post
Why don't U express your ideas with your own words? We might then, pay a bit more attention
In so many words?

Israel receives as much foreign economic assistance as all the countries combined in the world. --Professor Richard Falk


I wonder why?

Got an answer?
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Old 23-05-07, 11:44 PM   #4
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ok here we go... :P
link 1
some commentary about one Rep. presidential candidate who dares to break ranks and dares to put
forward the idea that US foreign policy is the main cause for 911

link2
oooo...some sexual scandal at the whitehouse
(read headline for details)

link3
bush passes another new law concerning his power as president in the event of another 911 type emergency...I wonder if this will apply to presidents that come after him?

link4
yep this one is hard one..
(see miss_silvers post)
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Old 24-05-07, 08:36 AM   #5
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And what does any of this have to do with H. P. Lovecraft's books?
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Old 24-05-07, 09:55 AM   #6
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Njah Njah hmm..not sure?



Quote:
Political Positions

I have received a few inquiries about the Great Cthulhu's platform, and so I have attempted to answer all such questions. If you have any questions please send them to the policy and platform committee (policies AT cthulhu DOT org), or send suggestions for stances if you have any.

Q) What is your candidates stand on abortion? Will it/he/she merely outlaw human life itself and thus end the issue?

A) The Great Cthulhu cares little for mortal affairs and mortal politics. However, as a presidential candidate, it must take a stand. Cthulhu is, therefore, pro-choice because it cares little for what you do. However, it's in favor of keeping humans alive, so that it can taunt and toy with them before they go insane and it eats them.

Q) What is the canidate's position on campaign finances?

A) Cthulhu accepts any donation which a citizen wishes to make. It doesn't oppose contributions from organizations, conglomerates, or conspiracies. In fact, it accepts any and all types of financial assistance or other donations. Preferably, large quantities of currency will be sent along with human brains,other donated organs, or your first born.

Q)We were wondering what great Cthulhu's stance was on foreign policy/ foreign aid?

A) The Great Cthulhu views our foreign neighbors as equals to the United States. It encourages trade in all forms, including slave trade, child trafficking, and it will continue to give Primary Trading Partner status to the country which sells the most children worldwide. Cthulhu will provide support to those countries which do not commit any of the following acts:

* Population control. The more humans alive, the more for it to toy with, drive insane, or puree.
* Genocide: See above.
* Captial Punishment: See above.

Q)What would the Great Leader's position be on the U.S. Military? Would we see a shift away from cooperative multi-lateralism with the United Nations? How does the Great Leader feel about nuclear weapons?

A) Our future leader would ban a standing U.S. Military. Cthulhu does not feel that humans should have the privilege oo killing other humans, it reserves that right to itself.
The Great Cthulhu's solution to the United Nations will be to eat all current U.N. delegates. It will then build the U.U.N. (Unilateral United Nations)
Our Great Leader is greatly opposed to nuclear weapons in the possession of others, because the melting of human flesh, and mass destruction, are not mortal rights.

Q) What is Great Cthulhu's position on obvious cult fronts (such as Microsoft, Lego and most gaming companies); will he/she/it treat them as previous administrations have? (i.e. pretend they don't exist or support them/crack down on them) Also and more important will he treat all cultists equally, or give his particular thrill kill cultists preference leaving (for example) shub-niggurath disciples such as Clarence Thomas and Bob Packwood out in the cold?

A) Good question. Within the first 100 days of its reign, the Great Cthulhu pledges to destroy the following cults:

* Disney.
* Mass Media.
* Yuppies.
* Kentucky Fried Chicken.
* People who use the phrase "information superhighway".

Cthulhu cultists will be given the following priveleges:

* They will die last.

Q) What solution does your candidate have for the problem of massive overspending by the government on the poor and elderly. Does he have a way to free up this money for other important projects, like going to mars or building big guns.

A) The Great Cthulhu's solution to massive overspending by the government on the weak, will be to go right to the heart of the problem, by destroying the elderly, poor, and clinically insane. It does not need a big gun, and Mars will be eaten immediately following Earth's demise.

Q)My roommate, being a concientious citizen of the US, would like to know who wil l The Illustrious One's running mate be. And how will he solve the national deb t. I've told him, debt will no longer be a concern for his merely mortal mind t o ponder. Now, my concern, as a citizen of a foriegn country, how will Cthulhu rule my country as well. Please see to it that It is given more money for bombs and other implements of destruction. Will Cthulhu use psychic powers to drive u s all mad, or must a study be made of this?

As of yet, the almighty Cthulhu has not chosen a running mate. If you feel you know a good candidate, or perhaps you've eaten one lately, please submit your candidate suggestions to: runningmate AT cthulhu DOT org

As stated above, Cthulhu will treat all countries in the same manner as it treats the United States. No study will be needed, since to merely gaze upon it is insanity itself.

Q) What is the candidates stand on welfare? I think all of the bums should be eaten by mister cthulhu.

A) You are wise. You will be eaten second to last.

Q)How will Cthulhu deal with a strongly bipartisan Congress? How does Cthulhu plan to deal with the budget deficit? Has Cthulhu yet chosen a running mate? If so, who is it, and from whence did it come? Given that the candidate is now dead and dreaming in the Pacific, what measures will be taken to speed its awakening should it be elected president?

A) Cthulhu will have no problem dealing with Congress, as they will be the first to be eaten. The budget deficit will shrink drastically once Cthulhu cuts unnecessary spendings like Defense, Welfare and Social Security. Mass support of Cthulhu will raise the its awareness of the need to take control of our suffering country, and should lead to its return. The Great Cthulhu will awaken in time to take its presidential oath.

Q) Just what does Cthulhu think of the institution in corporate America known as the "power lunch"? Out here in California, it is often held at a Japanese restaurant and features sashimi (raw fish), tempura-fried vegetables, teriyaki chicken or beef, tonkatsu (a type of breaded pork chop) and/or sushi. Would it continue to be deductible under the IRS regulations if he were elected?

A) The Great Cthulhu is opposed to any an other such institutions. They sound way too nice. Anyone caught committing such a henious act will suffer multiple seconds of torture before being destroyed.

Q)If Great Cthulhu becomes president, we obviously would all go mad. Do we get to choose which particular pathological condition we are blessed with, or does the big C just roll a d100 and we get what we're given? Also: He's been dead but dreaming for quite a bit of time now. What's to say He's not going to be a bit sleepy when he wakes up? I mean, how's a Priest of the Old Ones supposed to destroy a world effectively if He's half-asleep for goodness sake?!

A) The Great Cthulhu will not give humans that kind of decision over their own fate. They are far too weak to be able to handle that kind of pressure. Ever notice how your potential for destruction increases when your in that state? This will only enhance Cthulhu's domestic policy.

Q) How does the Great Old One stand on the testing of nuclear weapons?

A) As long as Cthulhu does all the testing, it's a-okay.

Q)What about redundancy pay?

A) The Great Cthulhu will see to it that those receiving redundancy pay will suffer greatly, well, more so than normal.

Q)Will he, as president, go jogging? (what a nasty thought!)

A) The Great Cthulhu is in perfect health, and due to its high metabolism and steady diet of human flesh, has no pathetic human need for exercise. In fact, those humans caught jogging with be destroyed immediately.

Q) Pornography

A) Well since that isn't actually a question, Cthulhu is taking the stance that it will not read anything, just look at the pictures.
http://www.cthulhu.org/cthulhu/positions.html
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Old 24-05-07, 11:36 AM   #7
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I think you're making the mistake of taking cthulhu.org way more seriously than the people who created it.
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Old 24-05-07, 12:20 PM   #8
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HA Multi!

That party makes me think of the Rhinoceros party back then over here LOL


Quote:
The Parti Rhinocéros, commonly known as the Rhinoceros Party in English, was a registered political party in Canada from the 1960s to the 1990s. Operating within the Canadian tradition of political satire, the Rhinoceros Party's basic credo, their so-called primal promise, was "a promise to keep none of our promises." They then promised outlandishly impossible schemes designed to amuse and entertain the voting public.

The Rhinos were started in 1963 by Jacques Ferron, "Éminence de la Grande Corne du parti Rhinoceros". In the 1970s, a group of artists joined the party and created a comedic political platform to contest the federal election. Ferron (1979), poet Gaston Miron (1972) and singer Michel Rivard (1980) ran against Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in his Montreal seat.

The party, which claimed to be the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a Brazilian rhinoceros who was elected member of São Paulo's city council in the 1950s, listed Cornelius the First, a rhinoceros from the Granby Zoo, east of Montreal, as its leader. The party claimed that the rhinoceros was an appropriate symbol for a political party since politicians, by nature, are "thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces."

Some members of the Rhino party would call themselves Marxist-Lennonist, (A parody of the Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada), in reference to Groucho Marx and John Lennon.

Bryan Gold of the Rhinoceros Party described the party platform as two feet high and made of wood. "My platform is the one I'm standing on." A candidate named Ted "not so" Sharp ran in Flora MacDonald's Ontario riding with the campaign slogan "Fauna, not flora", promising to give fauna equal representation. He also took a stand on capital punishment: "If it was good enough for my grandfather, then it's good enough for me." In the 1988 election, the Rhinoceros Party ran a candidate named John Turner in the same riding as Liberal leader John Turner, and received 760 votes.

Other platform promises released by the Rhinoceros Party included:

* repealing the law of gravity,

* reducing the speed of light because it's much too fast,

* paving Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot,

* providing higher education by building taller schools,

* instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages,

* offering to retrain those constituents who want to become illiterate by enrolling them in a state educational institution,

* tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset, or moving them one metre west as a make-work project,

* legalising pot. And pans. And spatulas. And other kitchen utensils,

* building sloping roads and bicycle paths across the country so that Canadians could "coast from coast to coast",

* making all sidewalks out of rubber to prevent inebriated people from hurting themselves when they fall down

* responding to the energy crisis, reducing energy costs for transportation by moving the cities of Montréal 50 km west and Toronto 50 km east,

* abolishing pumping oil out of the ground as that oil is there to keep the earth moving smoothly on its axis and if you withdraw the oil, the whole thing will grind to a halt,

* abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space,

* annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to raise the mean temperature of Canada by one degree Celsius,

* replacing the Canadian Forces with clones of Vladislav Tretiak,

* end crime by abolishing all laws

* making bubble gum the national currency, so that it could be inflated or deflated at will,

* Making the pop bottle the official currency of Canada as the value went up, not down

* Paving the Bay of Fundy to create more parking in the Maritimes

* Demolishing the Rockies and using the resulting gravel to make a national nature trail

* breeding a mosquito that would only hatch in January so that "the little buggers will freeze to death",

* turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley,

* adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last,

* as an energy-saving idea, putting larger wheels on the back of all cars so that they will always be going downhill,

* selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California,

* putting the national debt on Visa,

* declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons,

* offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this),

* painting Canada's coastal sea limits so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times,

* counting the Thousand Islands to make sure none were missing,

* running Penny Hoar on a safe sex platform in Toronto,

* running more than one candidate per riding as an MP's salary is certainly enough to support more than one person,

* exploiting acid rain as an electrical energy source by placing dissimilar-metal electrodes in Canadian swimming pools in order to use them as batteries,

* making Canadians stronger by putting steroids in the water,

* banning lousy Canadian winters,

* moving the Vatican to Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville, Quebec to promote tourism,

* putting the West Edmonton Mall on wheels and rolling it to areas of the country suffering from economic depression,

* turning the Louis-Hippolyte Lafontaine tunnel in Montreal into a free carwash by poking holes in the ceiling,

* transforming the Montreal Olympic Stadium into a gigantic beluga aquarium,

* drafting the Queen Mother to sew up the hole in the ozone layer

* building giant domes over several conservative neighbourhoods to keep the dinosaurs, both real and political, in.

* annexing Greenland and creating a cartel with other northern nations in order to sell icebergs to the Saudis; the cartel would be called "Snopec",

* digging a canal from coast to coast, by hand, to reduce unemployment; and then, leveling the Rocky Mountains and using the canal to transport the material east to fill in the Great Lakes, in order to expand Canada's landmass.

* impose an "import quota on lousy winters -- Canadians are sick of being God's frozen people. It's time to get back to the four basic seasons: salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar."

* include the word "fun" in Acts of Parliament, Acts of Provincial Legislatures, and Bylaws of municipalities, from which it was apparently conspicuously absent.

* Build a dome over the Annapolis Valley so they can grow bananas.

The Rhino Party also declared that, should they somehow actually win an election, they would immediately dissolve and force a second election.

Michel Rivard once went on TV (during free air time given to political parties) and stated: "I have but two things to say to you: Celery and Sidewalk. Thank you, good night."

A British Columbia splinter group proposed running a professional dominatrix for the position of party whip, renaming "British Columbia" to "La La Land", moving the provincial capital, and merging with the Progressive Conservative Party so as "not to split the silly vote."

The Rhinoceros Party never succeeded in winning a seat in Parliament. In the 1984 federal election, however, the party won the fourth-largest number of votes, after the three main political parties, but ahead of several well-established minor parties. Rhino candidates sometimes came in second in certain ridings, humiliating traditional Canadian parties in the process. In the 1980 federal election, for instance, the Rhinoceros party nominated a professional clown/comedian named Sonia "Chatouille" Côté ('chatouille' means tickles in French) in the Laurier riding in Montréal. Côté came in second place, after the successful Liberal candidate, but ahead of both other major parties: the third place New Democrat, and the fourth-place Progressive Conservative candidate. Chatouille received almost twice as many votes as the PC candidate.

Early in the party's history, when it was mainly composed of French-speaking Québécois, they chose as their official translator a party member who was the only unilingual anglophone party member at the time.

Although not recognized in the United States, former baseball pitcher Bill Lee ran for President of the United States in 1988 on the Rhinoceros Party ticket.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party_of_Canada

They were a blast
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Old 24-05-07, 12:43 PM   #9
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well, most of their stuff is pretty out there but they have a good point about the oil. i do worry about that.
- js.
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Old 24-05-07, 05:22 PM   #10
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This is the best Canadians can do?
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Old 25-05-07, 12:44 PM   #11
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Old 25-05-07, 08:07 PM   #12
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* putting the West Edmonton Mall on wheels and rolling it to areas of the country suffering from economic depression,



Oh yes,

Shopping
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Old 08-09-08, 10:32 AM   #13
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so what ever happened to these guys?
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Old 08-09-08, 06:42 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_silver View Post



In so many words?

Israel receives as much foreign economic assistance as all the countries combined in the world. --Professor Richard Falk


I wonder why?

Got an answer?
No I don't


I think it's disgusting that the US gives so much to those that cheat, lie and steal our secrets.

They got the BOMB and care about nobody...... I think Israel needs to be invaded
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