Christina gets a man with good looks and large [bleep]

[TankGirl]

Daily News:

Before Christina's groom took vows, he took his bows

You had to figure Christina Aguilera's nuptials would get a little "Dirrty."

We hear her betrothed, Jordan Bratman, made it clear at their Napa Valley wedding last weekend that he was more than qualified to satisfy the bride.

Guests at Friday's rehearsal dinner nearly choked on their sushi when Bratman raised his glass and thanked his parents for "my good looks and large [bleep]."

Jordan's brother and best man, Josh, and his father, Jack, both stood up and proudly corroborated the groom's endowment. Another bride might have wished that her future in-laws would speak a little less and hold their peace. But, whenever the subject of Jordan's manhood arose, "Christina would just smile and nod," a spy tells us.

Her quiet deference fit in perfectly with the Japanese motif at the Friday-night fete, where geishas and a koto player helped turn the Auberge du Soleil restaurant into a teahouse of the November moon.

The next day, at her wedding at the Staglin Family Vineyard, Christina shifted from kimono to a tight, Spanish-tinged Christian Lacroix veil and gown. As a 14-piece orchestra played flamenco, guests walked into a stained-glass Castilian castle built on top of a swimming pool and filled with pews. Bridesmaids were adorned with yards of pleated chiffon designed by Kai Milla, Stevie Wonder's wife.