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13-04-04, 11:04 PM | #1 | ||
Formal Ball Proof
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 2,948
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Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Dear George,
I didn't really want to mention this, but, OK, this lands on your desk on August 6, 2001. Quote:
"The memo was no indication of a terrorist threat." --to the press pool, April 11, 2004, Fort Hood, Texas ...of course you keep stammering to make sure you qualify yourself so it can't be construed as an outright lie, wrinkling your brow in that cute of-course-I'm-more-enlightened-than-you-I'm-the-fucking-president way you have, and go on to say: "There was not a time and place of an attack. It said Osama bin Laden had designs on America. Well, I knew that. What I wanted to know was, is there anything specifically going to take place in America that we needed to react to." ...and he dives, executing a difficult triple-gainer and barely making a splash, scoring a row of 10s... ...you didn't really say that there was no indication of a terrorist threat and that you knew bin Laden was a terrorist threat in the same breath. No. It only seems that way to those who cannot see the emperor's new clothes. You simply reminded us that your priorities are beyond the scope of mere mortal comprehension, and that those silly little things that flutter across your desk are as trifling as the newspapers you also never read. Now beyond the spectacle of your Zen Mastery, I don't see that you necessarily had anything to apologize for anyway, we can all see the document is "vague" ...because it's not clairvoyant. We can't blame you for not acting when there's nothing actionable, like a date or a flight number. But you could have chosen to say "Yes, the document indicated a possible terrorist threat but it was hard to know what to do about the information." No one would've thought twice about it. Hell, we all know in August you were already drawing up battle plans for war with Iraq, you had a lot on your plate. But no, better to glisten even if it's with pure slime. Slippery George the Golden Weasel, the man who knew better by not knowing at all. Intelligence failure indeed... I don't care if it was written in orange Crayon in four inch high letters on a brown paper sack, it indicated a possible terrorist threat. "The memo was no indication of a terrorist threat." What is your tongue connected to? Why would you even bother to say that? It'd be truly laughable except that it makes me more suspicious of you than I ever wanted to be. You're supposed to be all about our security per your very own unbelievably redundant droning, but you just keep making me more and more paranoid with all this ultrasophisticated reverse psychology shit. It concerns me that someone close to you can't impress upon you that it might be in your best interest to shut the hell up, or at least get your meds adjusted before they let you speak. Yet I was truly willing to let this go, I wasn't even going to mention it. But then, a day later, in the photo-op for Mubarak visiting your ranch, you say: "There was nothing there that said, you know, 'There's an imminent attack.'" --Press conference, April 12, 2004, Crawford, Texas ...and I mean this is after you slept. Let's review. Quote:
Then, your big Prime Time Press Conference. By now you've obviously had time to chisel this crude gem into pure brilliance: "...the briefing contained 'nothing new' in terms of disclosing that Osama bin Laden hoped to attack the United States." --April 13, 2004, Washington ...nothing new. Breathtaking. This indicates that in your peculiar brand of ominiscience, you not only already knew all about an imminent terrorist threat, but you also didn't know there was one... Apparently this is achieved by knowing it so well that you cease to know it, which is both like really really knowing it and not knowing it all at the same time... Gotta hand it to you, you did a superb job of making the memo itself seem completely irrelevant there... Just between me and you though, next time you're campaigning for the trust and support of the American people through a critical period, you might want to toy with the idea that we have a collective grasp of reality. It's not even a question of "would you buy a used car from this man" when you can clearly see the guy is trying to sell you half a stuffed goat. And dude, you've got to stop with the whole sarcastic sneering thing. You're getting a little better, but you've really gotta keep practicing those eyebrow relaxation techniques and try to shake it completely. I know you think it's all Charleton Heston but it really just comes off The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Love, Ramona |
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