Letterman's Top Ten Excuses For Dick Cheney:
10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm."
9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page."
8. "Not enough Jim Beam."
7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu."
6. "I love to shoot people."
5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter."
4. "Thought the guy was trying to go gay cowboy on me."
3. "Excuse? I hit him didn't I?"
2. "Until Democrats approve Medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly."
1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife."
