[Fantom]

Kevin Bloody Wilson - I gave up Wanking

I gave up wanking this morning
I never thought that I could
And I'm feeling better already
This time I'm off it for good

When I first wanked
I though I was so clever
And all me mates they were mugs
Thought I was the first
Bloke here on Earth
Who'd ever played with his slug
It was my own little secret
I never told anyone
And the feeling I got
The first time I shot
Was like chooks flying out of me bum

So I'm giving up wanking tomorrow
I never thought that I could
I'll be glad to be rid of these headaches
Then I'll be off it for good

I've wanked in some unlikely places
The shower , the beach and the pool
The dunny, the tram and the pictures
And biology classes at school
And once my grandmother caught me
Wanking meself in me room
And to her surprise
I just shut my eyes
And imagined her standing there nude

So I'm giving up wanking on Tuesday
I never thought that I could
Then I won't squint like I do now
Then I'll be off it for good

My dad says it's gonna take willpower
There really is no easy trick
I honestly thought I'd need surgery
To help get my hand off my dick
Me dads been a great inspiration
He really has been a great help
He knows what I go through
And just what to do
Cuz he give it up yesterday himself

So I'm giving up wanking next Friday
I never thought that I could
Then I won`t have to wear these thick glasses
Then I'll be off it for good

So if you say you don't wank, you're a liar
And a fool if you say that you do
So next time you see , Prince Charles on TV
Remember he's wanked himself too.

So I'm giving up wanking come Christmas
I never thought that I could
And I'll sell me dog 'n me white cane
Then I'll be off it for good

I'm giving up wanking next Easter
I never thought that I could
And the warts on me hand 'll just vanish
Then I'll be off it for good