[Mazer]

Dave Barry comes to mind...

Sports radio talk show host:

"Where are the Gator fans now? All you Gators call when you WIN, but now that you LOSE, you don't have the guts."

Listener calls in:

"I'm a Gator fan. And I'm calling."
"And what do you have to say?"
"You said we didn't have the guts to call, so I'm calling."
"Yeah, OK, and so what do you have to say?"
"I'm saying, here I am. I'm calling."
"That's it? You're calling to say you're calling?"
"You said we didn't have the guts."
"Because you DON'T have the guts. All week I had all these Gator fans on here, talking trash, and now they run and hide."
"Well, I'M calling."
"OK, so what's your point?"
"My point is, you said we didn 't have the guts to call, so I'm..."

Half an hour later:

"...point is that all these Gators ever do is talk trash, and then when they lose, you don't hear a peep out of 'em."
"Well, I'M a Gator, OK? I'm a Gator, and I'm talkin' to you right now, so what's your problem?"
"My problem is that you weren't calling until I SAID no Gators were calling. THEN all of a sudden there's all these Gators calling."
"I would of called before. I'm not afraid to call."
"But you DIDN'T call. You're calling now, but before I SAID there were no Gators calling, there were no Gators calling, including you."
"OK, but I'm calling, OK? You hear me on the phone now, right? I'm a Gator, and I'm..."

And an other hour goes by:

"...not hearing what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, when they lose—not now, tonight, but when they play a game and LOSE—then I don't hear a peep from Gator fans."
"Well, you 're not hearing what I'M saying. I'm saying that I'M a Gator fan, and I'm calling you now, OK? I'm talking on the phone right..."