Lewinsky Mulls '08 Run
 

Andy Borowitz: Lewinsky Mulls '08 Run
Former White House Intern Offers Self as Alternative to Hillary

In a development that could drastically alter the playing field of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky confirmed today that she was considering making a bid for the Democratic nod in 2008.

According to those familiar with her political plans, Ms. Lewinsky plans to offer herself as an alternative to the presumptive frontrunner in the race, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York).

Rumors of Ms. Lewinsky's intentions spread like wildfire this week when the erstwhile intern made a series of stops in New Hampshire, location of the nation's first presidential primary.

Wearing a midnight blue cocktail dress, Ms. Lewinsky drew large crowds across the state, suggesting that she could be a real threat to Ms. Clinton in a head-to-head race.

"Voters are worn out from George Bush, Iraq and the war on terror," said Democratic voter Jayson Tenzer, who attended one of Ms. Lewinsky's New Hampshire rallies. "Monica Lewinsky means good times."

According to Professor Davis Logsdon of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, offering herself as an alternative to Sen. Clinton could be a successful strategy for Ms. Lewinsky: "It's worked before."

And while some Democratic insiders worry that Ms. Lewinsky lacks the political know-how to be President of the United States, Professor Logsdon does not share those concerns: "Monica Lewinsky has actually had more experience in the Oval Office than Hillary Clinton has."

Elsewhere, one day after President Hugo Chavez appeared at the United Nations and called him "Satan," President Bush said, "I think he has me mixed up with Cheney."

http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publis...le_42604.shtml

Meanwhile Bill Clinton's unreleased tensions explode in an angry tirade at Fox News' Chris Wallace when he asked him why he didn't you do more to put bin Laden and Al Qaeda out of business.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,215397,00.html


No stains were apparent on Mr. Wallace's clothing after the eruption.

Monica and Hillary - what a pair. They are both good at screwing people, but by using different techniques.


Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

It's getting to the point where satire is more plausible than reality, it's all such a joke these days. The more people take themselves serously the funnier they get. It won't be long before congressional meetings get broadcast on Comedy Central instead of C-Span and Jon Stewart get's hired to write speeches for the president.

Here it is on the tube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYNI5RPOlp4

I seen this yesterday.
Then,when I got in this morning after work,it was on Fox,O'Reilly.
Chris Wallace was being treated like some sort of hero by Bill O'Reilly.
Maybe it's me,but our guys here in Britain are a lot harder with our elected ones.
It seemed to me that Old Bill Clinton got a little too excited.
That's now the story,not the detail he provided in his rant.
Maybe Chris should get a medal.
Anyone got one spare?

Anyway,I never did understand the big deal with Clinton and that bird.

you understand it perfectly - it wasn't a big deal.

Thanks mate.
I needed that reassurance.
With all the name calling in here,I thought I might get told off.LOL
:kiss: and :CD:

I heard it was just slightly bigger than average. :bdance:

I've never seen it - and I don't want to.

chris wallace is no hero. he's just a guy who set somebody up for sport and is now laughing at his little escapade. while wallace interrupted the answer to his own query and then coolly smirked (see, i don't want an answer, i want to score points!), with dozens dying everyday in iraq and parents and intelligence agencies asking why, clinton gets the credit for giving the question the focus and intensity it deserved.

what's relevant now isn't clinton's anger, it's his accuracy. we all know that bush has utterly failed america and the crucial war on terror. will smarmy pundits like wallace and the self-proclaimed conservative patriots give him if not the same duplicitous treatment they've given clinton at least a genuine examination? it's way overdue.

jokes aside, clinton has a very long fuse. he's been falsely accused of this for five years. it's should surprise no one if he put out a little heat.

- js.

:) RAS

LMAO!

He failed with the war on terror? Re-mind again Jack, how many terrorist attacks have there been in America since 9/11? Maybe you have the belief it failed because bin Laden has not been caught yet, do you believe once he is caught America is instantly safe? There is a lot going on in the war on terror and we are winning.

Now, Really who cares about Clinton, he is just pissed because he has no legacy. Bush will, History will show America’s strength after 9/11 and Bush was leading the way. Clinton’s legacy is the fact he is a criminal, that’s what we call people who lie under oath to a grand jury, and be known as a womanizer, but what guy isn’t, everyone knows that politicians are sleazy liars who would do anything to have power and money. The trick is not getting caught. Clinton failed, he got caught. But again, How many Attacks have occurred in the USA since 9/11?


Under Clinton's watch,

After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six and injured 1,000; President Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After 1993 - Somali and Blackhawk down, Clinton pulls out of Somali showing the World America was a "Paper Tiger"

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S. military personnel; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 and injured 200 U.S. military personnel; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224 and injured 5,000; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39 U.S. sailors; Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

After the oval office blowjobs, which killed his credibility and injured his reputation, Clinton finally launched some cruise missiles and harsh language at those responsible for distracting public attention from his misbehaviour.

let's see. after the '93 trade center attack there were how many attacks by foriegners in america under clinton?

none.

then bush took office and we had 9/11.

since 9/11 there has been at least one additional attack here that we know of. we just don't know who did it.

but attacks outside the us? many.

your point again?

the theory that bush is somehow protecting our way of life is demonstrably false. he is in fact decreasing our security and increasing our danger. his ignorant iraq policy of "stay and pray" is not simply a failure, it's a disaster for america and the entire non-muslim world.

- js.

Lol, tens of thousands of muslims killed and hundreds of thousands if not millions of muslims reduced to poverty and living in fear of torture and murder by their fellow muslims and it's a "disaster for america and the entire non-muslim world."

Who teaches you to squawk those hilarious phrases?

one - the anthrax attacks in October, 2001. 5 dead, 17 hurt. they didn't catch the terrorists that time, either.

i agree Clinton is largely irrelevant in the current context, but make no mistake about his legacy - 8 years of peace and prosperity. the contrast with the current adminstration just couldn't be more stark. perhaps you were too young to recall.

as for winning the war on terror, you are factually incorrect. the number of terror attacks has almost more than doubled world-wide since 2001 (from 1733 to 4633 in 2005). according to the just-released National Intelligence Estimate, we are manufacturing terrrorists faster than we can kill them.

so we have had attacks in the US since 9/11, the world is far more dangerous than ever, and the US government concedes the war in Iraq helped make it that way. any questions?

Since when does peace an prosperity have anything to do with the president? Don't give him too much credit, after all, he gave Congress to the Republicans after being president for only two years.

you're probably correct on the prosperity part - he got lucky there. but as far as peace goes, i've come to appreciate a president who doesn't start wars he can't finish.

legacy is a pretty vague term - call it what you will, but the Clinton years look better every day.