Bran Van 3000 - Drinking in L.A.

Hi, my name is Stereo Mike.

Yeah, we got three tickets to the Bran Van concert happening this Monday night at the Pacific Pallisades. You can all dial in if you want to answer a couple of questions, namely, what is Todd's favourite cheese. Jackie just called up and said it was a form of Roquefort. We'll see about that...

Give us a ring-ding-ding! It's a beautiful day.

Yeah Todd, this is Liquid ring-a-ding-a-dinging, want those three Bran Van tickets man. Waddya think? Todd, you there?

I woke up again this morning with the sun in my eyes,
When Mike came over with a script surprise.
A Mafioso story with a twist,
A "Too Wong Foo, Julie Newmar" hitch,
"Get your ass out of bed," he said:
"I'll explain it on the way."

But we did nothing, absolutely nothing that day, and I say:
What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?
I got the fever for the flavour, the payback will be later, still I need a fix.

And the girls on the bus kept on laughing at us,
As we rode on the ten down to Venice again.
Flaring out the G-Funk,
Sipping on a juice and gin,
Just me and a friend.
Feeling kinda groovy,
Working on a movie. (Yeah right!)

But we did nothing, absolutely butkis that day, and I say:
What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?

With my mind on my money and my money on my... Beer, beer!

I know that life is for the taking, so I better wise up, and take it quick.

Yeah, one more time at Trader Vic's.

Some men there wanted to hurt us,
And other men said we weren't worth the fuss.
We could see them all bitching by the bar,
About the fine line, between the rich and the poor.
Then Mike turned to me and said:
"What do you think we got done son?"

We've got a conclusion, and I guess that's something, so I ask you:
What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?
I got the fever for the nectar, the payback will be later, still I need a fix.

We need to fix you up, call me Monday and maybe we'll fix it all up.

Hell-A-L.A., Hell hell-A-L.A.! ...

So I ask you:
What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?

FAR AWAY EYES
(Jagger/Richards)

I was driving home early Sunday morning through Bakersfield
Listening to gospel music on the colored radio station
And the preacher said,
"You know you always have the
Laaaaawd by your side"

And I was so pleased to be informed of this that I ran
Twenty red lights in his honor
Thank you Jesus, thank you Lowerd!

I had an arrangement to meet a girl
And I was kind of late
And I thought by the time I got there she'd be off
With the nearest truck driver she could find
Much to my surprise, there she was sittin in the corner
A little bleary, worse for wear and tear
A girl with far away eyes

So if you're down on your luck
And you can't harmonize
Find a girl with far away eyes
And if you're downright disgusted
And life ain't worth a dime
Get a girl with far away eyes

Well the preacher kept right on saying that all I had to do was send
Ten dollars to the Church of the Sacred Bleeding Heart of Jesus
Located somewhere in Los Angeles, California
And next week they'd say my prayer on the radio
And all my dreams would come true
So I did
The next week, I got a prayer with a girl
Well, you know what kind of eyes she got

So if you're down on your luck
I know you all sympathize
Find a girl with far away eyes
And if you're downright disgusted
And life ain't worth a dime
Get a girl with far away eyes

P.S. to JackUzi, I Love Mark Smith's lyrics, never fail to crack me up.
:BL:

Oh yeah, and, uh, just a few of the twenty-nine thousand or so RHCP songs that mention L.A.:

TRUE MEN DON'T KILL COYOTES

...Ridin' wild on a paisley dragon
Through the Hollywood hills, yeah...
Huh, Hollywood hills...

OUT IN L.A.

...We're all a bunch of brothers livin' in a cool way
Along with six million others in this place called L.A....

UNDER THE BRIDGE

...Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry...

aaaaand...

THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER

(Laurie Anderson, from The Ugly One With the Jewels and Other Stories)

Spoken:

I was living out in West Hollywood when a Hollywood strangler was strangling women. Every night there was a panel discussion on TV about the strangler, speculations about his habits, his motives, his methods. One thing was clear about him: he only strangled women when they were alone, or with other women. And the panel members would always end the show by saying:

"Now for all you women, listen: don’t go outside without a man. Don’t walk out to your car, don’t even take the garbage out by yourself; always go with a man."

Then, one of the eyewitnesses identified a policeman as one of the suspects. The next night, the chief of the police was on the panel, and he said:

"Now for all you women, whatever happens, do not stop for a police officer, stay in your car. If a police officer tries to stop you, do not stop, keep driving and under no circumstances should you get out of your car."

For a few weeks, half the traffic in LA was doing twice the speed limits.

Glen Frey- Smugglers Blues
You see it in the headlines, you hear it every day
They say they're gonna stop it, but it doesn't go away
They move it through Miami and sell it in LA
They hide it up in Telluride, I mean it's here to stay
It's propping up the governments in Columbia and Peru
You ask any DEA., man, they'll say there's nothing we can do
From the office of the president right down to me and you
Me and you

Gladys Knight & The Pips - Midnight Train To Georgia

L.A. proved too much for the man,
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.
He's leaving,
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
He kept dreamin'
That someday he'd be a star.
But he sure found out the hard way
That dreams don't always come true.
So he pawned all his hopes
and he even sold his old car
Bought a one way ticket
To the life he once knew,
Oh yes he did,
He said he would
Be leavin
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.
Go, gonna board, gonna board,
Gonna board the midnight train.
Gotta go, gonna board
Gonna board
Gonna board the midnight train

Elton John's Tiny Dancer
Patsy Gallant's From New York to LA

PS: I remember a song in the 70's - L. A. International Airport (can't remember the artist)

Stones - Route 66
Well it winds from Chicago to L.A.
More than 2000 miles all the way
Get your kicks on Route 66

Kinks - LOLA
[i]She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-O-L-A lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola